It bothers me when people post about how they are “bored” on Facebook. It really narks me that these people have time to be bored. Even during half term or school holidays, I am never bored. Frustrated, yeah, quite often. Pissed off, even more so. But I never want for things to do.

When people ask me what I do and I reply with “I’m a writer!” there are invariably two responses:-

The first is the nonchalant “Oh, that’s cool! What’s your book called/about?”

The second is the “Writing’s a hobby, not a real job. Why don’t you get a real job?”

Now here’s the thing. I have a real job. Hell, I had a full-time real job at one point and it was so utterly stupid that it sent me spiralling into stress-related breakdowns that have left my long-term memory shattered. But I don’t want this to turn into a negative rant. In fact, I want to draw comparisons between my previous “real” job, and my current “not real” one.

People have preconceptions about just about every profession on the planet. This is natural; this is human. Preconceptions are off course built on stereotypes, especially those found in the media, and it is here that my ‘troubles’ start.

You see, as both a writer and teacher, I double dip the classic stereotypes with precocious ease. Writers, with their cigarettes and smoking jackets, who sit in cafés all day and drink coffee while typing on their run-down laptops; and teachers, who get more days off than they get hot dinners, who go on holiday half the year, and who are never doing a good enough job. I find that, in actual fact, people do not understand either profession.

At the core of both professions, I believe, is a deep desire to connect to human beings on many fundamental levels. Teachers do this by means of education. Writers do this by means of creativity.  What I don’t think Joe Public realises is that it is very difficult for — and actually, I should stop generalising here… let’s go first person — me to turn off. I posted a Facebook status yesterday that I had been writing all morning and my brother, bless his heart, commented that what I’d meant to post was that I’d been playing World of Warcraft all morning.

Y’see, what I find is that nobody considers the work that comes around what they see. Students, for example, only see the lessons you teach them, not the gazillion hours you put into marking their books, planning their lessons, getting the facts straight in your head on your evenings or weekends off. Likewise, my family rarely sees me actually writing. When they do they usually put on their best mocking expressions and tell me, shocked, that I’m “actually working”. They don’t, of course, see my piles of notes, the concept sketches that I draw, the restless nights I have when I keep waking up and writing down details on the Notes app on my iPhone. They don’t see the twenty or so files on my PC with ideas in them, or the half dozen maps of London I’ve got subtly altered, or the deckplans for the Valhalla, or whatever…

And I take their mockery with a pinch of salt, because I know that they too have hard jobs. They spend most of their time working, and because my work is — I suppose — less ‘obvious’, it is difficult for them to relate their experience of what work is with my own. Some days I think they understand. Other days, somebody comments that I should maybe try teaching full time again. It is about that time that I cackle madly and walk away from the conversation.

So it is confession time. I am finding writing very hard work at the moment. I’m dispirited about the whole thing. I know I want to get this book published, but I don’t believe it is good enough. Nor, probably, will I ever. The trouble is, I’m having a hard time getting past that psychological hurdle. I know I should print the damned manuscript out and send it to an agent/agency or three. But then I read all these advice columns where they say “Make your book as good as you think it can be before you send it to anyone.” And I’m not good at that.

I’ve spent the last couple of weeks working on scenes from novels 2 and 3 and avoiding novel 1. I just can’t get inspired to look at it again. I am, I think, bored of it. And my stupid brain translates this to “Well, your book must be boring then!” which naturally puts me back at psychological square one.

Anyway, moping aside, I am actually really psyched for people to read my books. I honestly think people who are fans of the fantasy genre will get a kick out of them. I’ve looked at a lot of really cool artwork this week and said to myself, “Yeah, I’ll probably never be able to paint like that… But I can write, and I bloody well will write!”

Okay, I admit it: I picked this novel up after playing Mass Effect 2, simply because it was related. I had no idea what it was about, how it fitted into the mythology, or anything like that. I didn’t even expect it to be that good, considering how ninety percent of game/movie novel tie-ins are utter pap. But I underestimated BioWare and the author, Drew Karpyshyn.

You see, what it mentions on the front of the book is that Mr Karpyshyn isn’t just some random guy brought in to write a novelisation of the games. He’s the actual lead writer. A lead videogame writer who also writes books to tie in with the series.

It also says a “thrilling prequel” to the original Mass Effect. Unlike one of my good friends, I don’t have any issues with sequels, prequels, series or whatever. In fact, I like to invest heavily in things I enjoy. While the “thrilling” quote is subject to some debate, the fact that it is a prequel is definitely evident here.

So, some context. In the original Mass Effect, the player’s character gets the chance to become the first human SPECTRE (SPECial Tactics and REcon, if I recall correctly). We find out later in the game that Captain Anderson, the black guy in charge of Shepard’s first playable mission, was also in line as a candidate many years before, but for some reason, his candidacy was turned down. Hints are dropped that Saren, the antagonist of the game, was reponsible for this.

And Mass Effect: Revelation weaves the story of how. I was going to say “carefully” weaves the story, but in all honesty there is little in the way of subtle narrative or surprises in store here. This isn’t a criticism either. It is a fun story, tightly written, fast paced, with enough reference and thought evident throughout that those of us who have played both Mass Effect games will be drawn into finding out just why Anderson never got to be a SPECTRE, or how Saren found out about his ship, Sovereign, in the first place.

Saren in the game isn’t a particularly complex character until right towards the end where we get to watch him realise how far from grace he has fallen. But the Saren of ME:R is more nuanced. We find out a bit about why he hates humans so much. We see his thought processes as he carries out his assignments. We discover how ruthlessly efficient a SPECTRE has to be, and how the weight of protecting billions of lives can sometimes weigh heavy on their shoulders.

He’s not a perfectly written creation by any means. In many ways, the novel simply cannot hope to stand on its own. It really does rely on you at least having played Mass Effect to fully appreciate what is going on here. Nevertheless, there is enough sci-fi here to give fans of the genre a taster of a really well fleshed out universe.

If you’ve played Mass Effect 1: 9/10

If you haven’t: 8/10

Assassin’s Creed: Renaissance (hereafter, AC:R) is a novelisation of the second game in the Assassin’s Creed videogame trilogy. AC2 had the distinction of being the first PS3 game I purchased, as well as the first that I explored every nook and cranny of to 100% the platinum trophy on the PlayStation Network.

The game setup is simple: you play as a chap called Desmond Myles who, in 2012, discovers he is descended from a long line of Assassins, a secret order dedicated to protecting the world from the machinations of the equally secretive Templars. Initially working for Abstergo – soon revealed to be a Templar front – Myles is stuck into a machine called the Animus, and made to relieve parts of his genetic memory to discover the location of something called a Piece of Eden. By the end of game number 1, a somewhat poorly paced affair, the story begins to heat up, and little clues are left right at the end of the game that something even greater is going on.

One of the complaints about game number 1 was that it has you zipping in and out of the head of Desmond Myles (in the future), and his ancestor Altair (in the time of the Crusades) a little too often. So this was shook up for game number 2, with the player only starting and finishing the game as Desmond. The rest of the game is set firmly in the head, and heart, of Ezio Auditore de Firenze, the son of a Florentine banker of some repute.

The book telling of events follows the story of the game very closely, even going as far as to expand on the two chunks of missing memory block present in the game that were reserved for future (and now released) downloadable content. The writing is tight, fast-paced, and follows the twists and turns of the game’s story well. Interaction between the characters in the novel is given a much greater sense of detail and realism – simply through the benefits of not having to code and design several new animations to convey anything. I found myself really enjoying the story of this second instalment all over again.

However, it was not without its niggles. The book is set entirely in the head of Ezio, and thus the one thing that rankles me ever so slightly about the book is that is simply cannot do the end of the game justice. In the game, you know you’ve been playing as Desmond who has, in a sense, been playing as Ezio. And so at the end where Minerva speaks not to Ezio, but through Ezio to somebody else, we lose that sense of immersion somewhat. It works better as a meta-gaming revelation, because we know Minerva is passing on a message to Desmond and the Assassins in the future, not just doing something really weird to Ezio in the past as the novel suggests.

If I hadn’t played the game first, I imagine the ending would confuse me a bit, but I have to admire the gall of whatever editor said “Let’s keep this bit in!” when releasing a paperback to the mass market that may have never heard of the games, let alone played them.

This is a tiny niggle, though, in what is in my mind one of the better game-to-novel adaptions I’ve read (and yeah, I’ve read a fair few, and they don’t often fare this well).

(if you’ve played AC2): 9/10

(if you’ve never heard of AC2 and just picked it up because the cover looked cool): 7.5/10

Last Sunday (the 7th Feb), on a whim (and, admittedly, high on Mass Effect 2 fever) I ordered some books from good old Amazon.co.uk: namely, the first of the two available ME novels, plus the concept art book from the first game, as I’m quite the fan of concept art. As a member of Amazon Prime, I expected to get the novel on the Tuesday, and the art book when it becomes available. No problem.

Of course, I wouldn’t be writing a blog about this if it was all plain sailing! By the Thursday of last week, the book still had not arrived, so I emailed amazon customer support about the delayed delivery. They asked if I could wait till close of business on Friday, just to make doubly sure, as that is the longest any package from them should take.

I did so. No delivery.

Sent them an email about it again over the weekend. Received a very apologetic reply from them yesterday morning, telling me they’d stuck a new copy of the novel in the post for me straight away, and that it should be here today.

Text message from mother this morning tells me three packages have been delivered. Now I know one of them should be the book. A second should be a REAL TREAT about which I will write at a later date. (Spot the sarcasm.) But the third…?

Well, intuition tells me that there will be two copies of the book, instead of one. So I trundle up the road, open some parcels, and prove myself right.

Typical. So now I have two copies of the same book, and have to go figure out amazon’s return process now. /sigh

At least they only charged me once. =D

While I have no problem with painting myself as “A GAMER” to most people – I feel the stigma attached to “gamers” is pretty unwarranted for the most part – I must quantify what I mean by this. I game, certainly. But when most people think of gamers these days, they fall into one or two camps, the camps that have the greatest mass market appeal or media hype.

1) The World of Warcraft player: I have no problem admitting I have played WoW since release, to varying degrees of involvement. I’ve made very good friends in the game, whom I talk to on a regular basis and – contrary to the popular belief that they are ‘just people on the internet’ – I’ve met several of them in person. I got into WoW because of the storyline that carried over from the Warcraft III and Frozen Throne RTS games, which themselves I only played because of the story. I am not very good at RTS games, apart from the original Settlers.

You’ll notice the key word here is story. As a writer, reader, and generally creative person, that’s what I’m into. WoW appeals to me because of The Lore – that huge wealth of background detail shared across an epic fantasy universe. Sure it goes a bit wonky in places, its retconned in places to allow for new ideas to be bought in, and some of it is beyond cliché, but there’s a lot of imagination gone into tying this universe together so that, thematically, it all gels in a fantasy/steam-punky way. (And, as an addendum, I am also quite fond of Blizzard’s art style and direction, so from an artistic point of view, WoW also has appeal.)

2) The FPS player. Considering the hype that the Call of Duty games get, it isn’t so surprising that when people think of gamers, they think of some teenage kid sat in his bedroom playing Modern Warfare 2, or some such stereotype. With mostly realistic graphics, albeit with some creative license taken, the MW2-type multiplayer game is often branded as the kind of game most likely to turn your child into a mass murderer by the press. Well, that and the Grand Theft Auto games which, having not played after GTA1, I’m not going into due to lack of knowledge on the subject (if only the media could do the same eh!)

Now even while I like both types of games, I wouldn’t say that either are my favourite genres. I can talk a lot about what kinds of games I don’t like: sports games (yawn), racing games (yawn), RTS games (because I suck at them), lightgun games (because I’ve never had one that works properly in a home environment)… you get the idea, and you can probably see the trend too. These games lack, for the most part, that one essential element that I play games for: story.

Thus bringing me to my point.

Mass Effect 2 is BioWare’s latest storydriven roleplaying game, and I shall be upfront in saying that I believe it to be one of the most rounded, well-paced storydriven games I’ve ever played. Considering my actual background in gaming comes from such titles as Planescape: Torment, Baldur’s Gate and Knights of the Old Republic, you might not be surprised at this. After all, these titles are pretty much all made by the same team: individuals who value story as much as they value action.

The premise of ME2 is very straightforwards. It is the second in a pre-planned trilogy. It is, much like The Empire Strikes Back, the dark middle section of that trilogy, and thus obvious comparisons to that film abound. I’m no stickler for dark games: the average survival horror game mostly bores me, and the gruesome gorefest of the SAW films just sickens me to the point that I’m paying to not enjoy myself.

The ‘dark’ elements of ME2 involve the idea that the series protagonist Commander Shepard, is assembling a team to go on what is likely to be a suicide mission, passing through the Omega Four Relay to territory unknown in an effort to stop The Collectors from abducting more human colonies from the fringe of galactic space. Not the most original setup, but what in science fiction is truly original these days. The crafting skill is shown with how BioWare deals with this setup.

If ‘assemble a team of loyal individuals and save the galaxy’ sounds familiar, it is because it is, in effect, the exact same basic premise for Mass Effect 1. The difference is in the execution. Where ME1 was ponderous, full of inventory issues, dodgy cover systems, and hundreds of menus, ME2 is pacy, cutting out most of the inventory entirely, with a more reactive cover system, and a streamlined menu system that lets you work with the essentials.

Changes to any formula in a series of games is always likely to cause outcry from fans. I know from first-hand experience that any time Blizzard change the way a character class works in WoW that thousands of crybabies descend on the forums like locusts to “QQ” about how Blizzard are ruining the game. ME2 was a comparable shakeup compared to the first, but anything more I can say on the issue is obviously pure personal opinion. At the end of the day, what it boils down to (for me) is this: did I enjoy ME2 more than ME1? And the simple answer is YES, A WHOLE LOT MORE.

Now there are reasons for this, and they boil down mostly to games systems rather than actual storytelling. ME1 had, in my opinion, a slightly better story, with better reveals, but was let down by its encumbering menu-driven inventory management. This isn’t to say that ME2′s story is bad. Far from it. It just feels ever-so-slightly samey because of the nature of the experience.

Basic plot structure aside, however, the sheer depth of characterisation in ME2 is stunning. Each of the ten characters you can pick up to join your squad is a fully-fleshed out individual, with motivations, background, flaws. They’re the kind of characters I try to write for myself because, as human beings, we can’t associate with those perfect characters you used to see on TV, in films or games.

Each of ME2′s characters has a unique visual identity too, from the hulking krogan Grunt, to the lithe and deadly Thane, to the overly buxom blue-skinned asari justicar, Samara. It is interesting to me how BioWare have really tried to give these alien races suitably alien personalities and motivations, yet keeping within them traits that to us seem distinctly human. And I suppose that is essential, since as I’ve already stated, if we can’t relate, we can’t engage; if we can’t engage with a character, we don’t take them with us for the ride, and everybody loses.

So what, for me, is the success of Mass Effect 2? It boils down to two things:

1) Characterisation and storytelling: simply the deepest interactive experience I’ve ever played.

2) Music and sound: voice acting is generally excellent (I’m looking at you, Generic Male Shepard voice actor for bringing the standard down), and the musical score is perfect and cinematic for the experience the game creates.

And I must point out that the game does indeed create an experience for you. It doesn’t drag you kicking and screaming in the direction it wants. Throughout the game there are many many paths that you can take, choices that you can decide, that alter the course of the narrative in (usually) subtle ways. And all of these come to a head in the last forty minutes or so of the game, where you finally head through the Omega Four Relay and take the fight to your enemy. The decisions, the tension, and the musical accompaniment all come together there into, for me, what is one of the best and most engaging endgames I’ve ever seen.

If somebody ever makes a film of my novels, this is the way I want my audience to feel once the climax is reached: a cast of characters that they care about and can engage with, despite the lack of humanity some of my characters (by their very nature) embody, sacrifices and decisions that the audience can relate to, and a musical score that gives you that tingly adrenaline-fuelled feeling in your chest that BIG THINGS™ are going on.

Yes, I liked Mass Effect 2. Can you tell?

I picked up “The Left Hand of God” in a half price sale in WH Smiths. It seemed like my kind of book. And thus, a good idea at the time.

Sadly, now I’m not so certain this was the case.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for books that don’t follow convention. I’m all for stories that have surprising twists. What I am not for is books that seem to change their tone 15 pages from the end and end completely differently to how they have been set up.

The book was good. I’m not knocking that. It has a dark, brooding tone. Its portrayal of a violent, religion-fuelled fantastical and fanatical alternate history was gripping, and the fact that I read the whole lot in one sitting shows that Hoffman can tell a good yarn.

But there’s just something so very wrong with it in places that I actually feel more frustrated than entertained at turning that last page. There are so many things foreshadowed but never explored later on; there are numerous changes in tone in the middle of the book completely at odds with the grim start; important revelations arrive with no actual foreshadowing at all; the final battle is described with a clinical detachment that deadens any sense of emotional investiture in the wellbeing of the individuals involved; and the final betrayal ruffled my feathers considering two thirds of the book is spent cememting a relationship only to have a parenthetical exposition in the last three pages explain why it just wouldn’t work.

Anyone who has read any of my previous blogs knows I’m a sucker for a happy ending and relationships that work out – isn’t that why we read fantasy? to escape from the harsh, soul-crushing reality that real life usually thrusts our way? – but it is less well known that I actually have admiration for writers that break conventions, throw away our expectations. I fully expected some big revelation towards the end of the novel. Unfortunately, the revelation that I got was one that hadn’t been hinted at elsewhere, and there was too much sense, looking back with the book fresh in my mind, that the story had been pieced together from multiple plots, rather that one coherent whole right from the start.

The ending ends with hints that there is a sequel to follow: and I suppose if Hoffman is to follow convention, a trilogy is a likely outcome. It is highly likely that I will pick up a sequel, simply to find out if any of the seeds laid in this plot but not allowed to blossom within its pages are actually of importancw, or merely red herrings designed to throw the reader off which is, in my eyes, poor writing.

While thinking of something more to say on the matter, I googled the book and found this review which I am inclined to agree with.

So yeah, not a bad book by any stretch. I have read far worse. I’m just glad I didn’t pay full price for it.

Writing

For a start, there’s that ‘writing’ thing that I, as a writer, do. My first trilogy is now planned out: the first novel is pretty much finished, the second is well underway, and I wrote a couple of scenes for the third one the other day as they were banging about in my brain and distracting me from important stuff, so that is going well. Novel 1, “Chains of Memory” (working title) will be complete by the end of January, so I can then get it printed and sent off to a shortlist (really very short actually) of agencies in the hope one can get me signed up for a three-book detail with a major publishing house like Orbit. I’m expecting “Chains of Time”, the second novel, to take me up until the end of summer, possibly the end of the year (depending on things in the next section) to write, and then “Chains of War” will round out the trilogy within the next eighteen months or so.

Obviously this is writing time. People actually seeing them on the shelves may take many months, even years to pan out, depending on how lucky I am with publishers. Kids fiction is the big thing at the moment, and this is definitely not written for kids in the same way that Harry Potter or Twilight is. Regardless of how long they may take to see the light of day, I am very much enjoying writing them, even despite the sleepless nights having several complicated plots and subplots tangled round in your brain can cause.

Games

The STEAM sale over Christmas was a disaster for me. I was doing so SO well with paring down my Games-To-Play list to something manageable, and then all of these good games were made cheap and I couldn’t resist. D’oh!

I recently finished the excellent “Darksiders” which I really enjoyed for its mix of God of War fighting and Zelda-esque dungeon exploration and collecting (as well as its visually distinct art style and storyline), and finally — a good two years after everyone I know finished it — I completed the main storyline of “Mass Effect”. Just in time, in fact, for the end of January when “Mass Effect 2” is released. “Darksiders” took me about 35 hours to complete 100%. “Mass Effect” took me maybe 12-15 hours, but that was with skipping 80% of the sidequests. As much as I like sidequests in games, I really just wanted to see how the main story played out in “Mass Effect”, and I definitely wasn’t disappointed.

Also on my list of games that I already own and need to complete are:

• Modern Warfare 2 (Which I bought hoping I’d like it more than the first one. Wrong.)
• S.T.A.L.K.E.R. (In the STEAM sale, so no rush to play/complete this one. Looks interesting though.)
• Jade Empire (Also £3 in the STEAM sale. Not got time for this at the moment.)
• Dragon Age: Origins (More on this below)
• Batman: Arkham Asylum (Finished in storymode. Want to 100% this though.)
• Dead Space (Great ideas, but atrocious PC port. Sad. Might get the PS3 version cheap.)
• Trine (Awesome ‘hop in and play’ puzzle game when I have little time.)
• Uncharted (I got this to work my way up to Uncharted 2. Sadly I suck at it.)
• Zelda: Spirit Tracks (almost done with this now.)

That’s quite a few games, some of which I’m barely into. Dragon Age is the prime example. I was really psyched for this when it was announced, and I got the deluxe edition with all the bonus content. Thing is, Spence has been playing it, and after 40+ hours he’s only 45% of the way through the game. Now admittedly he DOES have a thing for sidequests (It’s unhealthy, UNHEALTHY I SAY!) but still… So that number looming over my head and, and I hate to admit this, the unsexy female character models have kind of put me off getting into this one. It’s really a shame, but in some ways I’d forgotten the reasons I never actually completed Baldur’s Gate 2: Shadows of Amn — it’s just too effing long for a completionist like me to play in a reasonable amount of time.

And, as well as this, there are OTHER GAMES on the horizon. Oh, and Bayonetta, which is so screwed up crazy I just have to get it after already renting it for a week, just so I can see how the ‘plot’ pans out.

These include:

• Mass Effect 2 (The continuing adventures of Cassiel Shephard… more alien sex?!) Jan 29th.
• Dante’s Inferno (Sure it’s basically God of War, but I like GoW. It’s why I have a ps3). Feb 5th.
• Bioshock 2 (As I loved the first one. Not desperate to play this at release though.) Feb 9th.
• Final Fantasy XIII (Oh my god, my life, it will disappear…) March 9th.
• God of War 3 (It’s like God of War but…oh, wait…) March 19th.

Now you’ll notice something about a couple of those games: namely “ME2” and “FFXIII” — they’re both likely to be fucking long! (See my point above in the Books bit about why I might not finish reading them all by the end of March.) I’ve been looking forwards to “FFXIII” for over two years now, so I’ll definitely be getting it on the day of release and then locking myself away for a week or two to make some headway into the game before emerging to do some actual work. I wasn’t hugely excited for “ME2”, but having now just realised what all the fuss was about with the first one (yeah, I’m a tad slow) it is now high on my list of things to look forwards to.

Art

And finally, I’ve renewed last year’s Resolution to ensure I paint at least one piece of art per month. January’s is actually already done, but I haven’t updated my gallery with it yet. I’m considering changing the gallery format slightly for 2010. We’ll see.

Release the Kraken!

There are also some films I want to watch this year. That’s my excuse for getting a release the kraken reference into this blog anyways.

Next time I’ll possibly talk about tits and fucking, since Spence wants me to. Also, this may help people forget just how geeky this blog has been.

BAI! =^.^=

It has come to my attention that I have been utterly rubbish at updating my blog. There are several reasons for this, chief amongst them being that I am lazy. Really, really lazy.

And, also, not a huge amount has gone on since October 17th, when I last blogged.

Well okay, stuff has happened, but it was all school/work-related, and let’s be honest, it would be pretty unprofessional of me to blog too much about working in a school. Child-protection and all that jazz.

So instead I shall start 2010’s blogging by going through things that are important to me: namely books, music, games and art.

Reading

Back when I was doing my Masters in Creative Writing, I often commented that I didn’t read anywhere near enough. Looking at my bedside table now, I have a pile of books that will go some way to rectifying this for 2010.

I’ve got through a couple of the shorter works already, but currently the list of Books To Read stands at:

• Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief (Read, in anticipation of the upcoming film release.)
• Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters (Read, because I like sequels.)
• Percy Jackson and the Titan’s Curse (Because I got a boxed set of the first 3. Bite me.)
• The Stone of Tears (Sequel to Wizard’s First Rule, which I enjoyed greatly.)
• Blood of the Fold (Third in the Sword of Truth series.)
• The Left Hand of God (Which was half price and looked interesting.)
• Extraordinary Engines (A steampunk anthology.)
• The Difference Engine (One of the defining steampunk novels.)
• Assassin’s Creed: Renaissance (Book of the game. Sometimes these are good.)
• Wormwood (Second hand, 20p buy. Fantasy alternate history.)
• Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (Because I’m not a fan of the original.)
• The Ghost King (Which I got before Christmas but haven’t touched yet.)

And those are the ones just on my table or at hand. I’m 2/3 of the way through “The Titan’s Curse”, which I am enjoying greatly. Yeah I know that the Percy Jackson books are really for young adults rather than almost-29 year olds, but I’ve always been a Greek mythology buff, and I have a thing about urban fantasy fiction (since, y’know, I write it!) even if it is supposedly for ‘kids’. I’m a big fucking kid and proud of it, alreet?

I actually started “The Stone of Tears” before Christmas but, like pretty much all of Terry Goodkind’s books it seems, it’s about 900 pages long, and I need to invest some serious time in it, which — because I like to read books in one or two sittings — I don’t currently have. I’ll get there. Already it is shaping up to be an interesting follow-up to “Wizard’s First Rule”.

These should last me a good while: probably till the end of February and into March if I decide to read the two Goodkind books back to back as I suspect I might. Saying that, however, there are OTHER THINGS that may ensure this stack of books last even longer.

And those are… In the next part!

In the words of CLAPTRAP, “Ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

The very words, ‘British Summer Time’ conjure up a varity of images, depending on who you are and where you live. For most of us brits, BST is a time where we constantly have to debate whether to take a brollie with us, as it just might rain, even if there isn’t a cloud in the sky. As well as the mercurial weather, it is a time for camping, beer gardens, sitting outside on the patio and gazing at the sky, and being assaulted by greenfly and wasps.

Last year’s summer is a haze. Not a heat haze, a literal, drug-induced haze. By this time last year I was on full-time tramadol. It’s no wonder I can’t remember squat about what I did, who I saw, or where I went…if indeed I went anywhere.

This year is different. No drugs except alcohol this year. Having just done a half term of teaching, and having a full term lined up come September, this summer holiday was, nominally, a time for writing; in theory I was going to get as much of novel #2 written as I could during this six weeks as once the teaching starts, its ever so difficult to put (virtual) pen to paper.

Unfortunately, the words aren’t flowing very well. I feel bottle-necked, distracted, and it is buggin’ me.

One of the key distractions is this pile of games. As well as writing, summertime is oft the time where I try and finish as many of the games I’ve got laying around as I possibly can. Since I’ve had a month off WoW, I figured I was onto a winner this summer. Of course, that was before I decided Final Fantasy 12 was one of the games I really should complete – especially as FF13 is due sometime next year. I failed to take into account just how much time FF games eat up though.

Anyway, my list of unfinished or unplayed games stands at:

1) Final Fantasy 12 (36hrs in now)
2) Final Fantasy 4 DS (still haven’t quite finished it)
3) Prototype
4) Devil May Cry 4
5) Half Life 2 + Expansions
6) Conan (on the XBOB360 – almost at the end, and have been for 6 months+ >_<)
7) Tomb Raider (the latest one)
The Last Remnant
9) Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles (GCN)
10) Dawn of War
11) Blood Bowl PC (still need to finish the single-player campaign)

As well as these, I’ve also had quick bashes on Age of Conan, Warhammer Online, and Lord of the Rings Online, all 3 of which have decided to give me free trials or week of free “re-evaluation” time. LotRo has been the most fun of the three, and its very very pretty as always, but none of the three really hold a candle to WoW, which is kinda a shame.

So anyways, really long list of games that need finishing. Might have to put FF12 on hold for a bit, as it really does eat up the time. Very enjoyable though. Not sure why fans of the series hate 12 so much. I like the characters, and the plot seems to be developing well enough – and story is mostly all I play games for after all.

As well as games, I’ve also been painting a bit. Got a couple of pieces on the go, which is kinda unusual. Haven’t worked on them in a few days (see above comment about FF12) but they should both be done by the end of August. Still keeping up with my new year’s resolution, which is nice. Hopefully I’ll last the whole year.

Three weeks left of the summer hols. I know my parents are going on holiday next weekend, and I too am taking a couple of days off to head up to Macclesfield to see Rick and Tom, but thats mostly as far as I can stretch money-wise this year.

Really am going to try and stick some sample novel chapters up in the next week or so, let people have a read and see what they think of my style and stuff (as well as point out any glaring mistakes I’ve made )

This blog sounded much more organised in my head…

That’s the verb “reading”, not the proper noun “Reading”, just so we’re clear.

I read a fair bit. I have a huge number of books on my shelves, mainly because our local library never used to have the kinds of books I was into as a kid, and I can’t really say I’ve diversified my reading habits since then either. I wanted to insert a picture here of our hallway bookshelves, full to the brim with all manner of books, but since we’re having the house rewired in a couple of months, we’ve already started taking the books down and boxing them up, which I must admit makes those big shelves look more than a little weird.

I did, however, at least get a picture of my main “bedside reading” shelf. Let’s take a closer look at this huge stack o’ “literature” and see what we’ve got:

SHELF ONE

Okay, I’ll admit it. The top row of my bedside shelf has no actual reading books on it at all. In fact, its chock-packed with a variety of RPG rulebooks, mostly D&D-related. There are a variety of d20 campaign settings up there, from Arthaus’ “Ravenloft” to “Dragonstar” and the “World of Warcraft RPG”. There are also some “Big Eyes Small Mouth” books, as well as strategy guides for FFX and FFX-2 (‘cos I’m a lazy completist). Tucked just off shot on the top row is a copy of Jim Butcher’s “Welcome to the Jungle”, my only actual graphic novel, and a copy of the 2009/10 “Writer’s Market” which has half a dozen page corners turned to mark agencies that may hopefully represent a fantasy writer based on who else they have on their rolls.

SHELF TWO

Shelf two holds, first and foremost, my Dresden Files paperbacks. As I am impatient, the last two I’ve bought in hardcover (see shelf four) and thus they do not fit on the shelf. Missing is book 1 of the series (‘cos Spence borrowed it) and book 4 (because it is by my computer as reference). These are the kind of books I read over and over again.

Next to them is Brent Weeks’ “Night Angel” trilogy, which is probably the most epic trilogy I’ve ever read (yes, beating Lord of the Rings). I’ve only read this once (though I’ve read the last 5 chapters of “Beyond the Shadows” about 5 times now – they’re just THAT good!) but I plan on reading them again over summmer.

Also on here is the three Greyhawk “Justicar” novels by Paul Kidd, which make me laugh a lot, “Orcs” (with its Waterstones receipt bookmark reminding me I’ve still not got very far with it), Greg Maguire’s “Wicked” and “Son of a Witch”, some Pratchet, my fat-assed copy of “Order of the Phoenix”, as well as a whole row of books BEHIND this front line.

SHELF THREE

Now we’re getting to the stuff that I either haven’t read, haven’t read much, or just ran out of space to organise properly. Most of the left pile is Eddings and Gemmell, two writers whose fantasy stuff I’ve never really gotten into, as well as Ed Greenwood’s “Elminster in Hell”, which was…okay…I guess…

Next we have Taylor’s “Wormwood” which I only got the other day and haven’t read yet, as well as Nix’s “Abhorsen” trilogy, which remains one of my favourite fantasy series, and another trilogy I plan on rereading over the holiday. There’s also a couple of Harry Potters on here, as well as some Dragonlance and Magic: The Gathering novels (which are much cheaper and less addictive than the trading card game). Oh and yes, that IS a copy of “Warlock of Firetop Mountain”… classic!

SHELF FOUR

A delightful mix of stuff on here. First of note is the white paperbook copy of Lord of the Rings peeking out from behind the front pile. I used to read this every single year, but I stopped when I realised that the “Fellowship of the Ring” is mostly dull and boring. To the left of that are the three volumes of LotR individually bound. Not sure why I have both sets.

You can also see the happy dayglow Harry Potters back there, as well as the original Star Wars manga (which cost me about £50 but was well worth it).

Also on there is a copy of Stephen King’s “On Writing” which is a very enjoyable read for any prospective author, as well as a variety of Planescape, Warcraft and Forgotten Realms novels (almost all of which have atrocious cover art).

Colin Forbe’s “Blood Storm” is decent, plotwise, but very dull reading stylistically (thus I’m only 1/3 through that). Jim Butcher’s “Turn Coat” and “Small Favour” are both excellent excellent reads and are only lying on this shelf because I couldn’t fit them anywhere else. I *still* haven’t read Gormenghast because I suck. I must must must read it.

SHELF FIVE

Okay, so these aren’t books. This bottom double-shelf of cubbies is where I keep CDs and old PSX and GBA games. You can just make out a variety of titles, including the awesome “Pocket Fighter” for the PSX, and “Super Ghouls and Ghosts” for the GBA. There’s also some pretty bad soundtracks and albums on that shelf. Some of them are Pokémon-related. Don’t ask.

WHAT’S MISSING?

Well, there are two or three books/anthologies that I keep at hand which simply don’t fit onto the shelf. The centenary edition of Robert E. Howard’s “Conan” stories is one of them, as are the books I’m currently working my way through, which include Grant/Naylor’s “Red Dwarf”, Max Books’ “World War Z” (yes, I know I’ve had this a year of so, I’m slack!) and Jonathan Kellerman’s “Therapy”.

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

Well I don’t know. It’s possible you may just frown at me and say “oh my god, what a geek!” or “This guy calls himself an English teacher when he reads this stuff?! It isn’t REAL fiction!” or you may possibly applaud my taste but keep it to yourself for fear that somebody else hears you mention you actually *read* — because as the kids at Pensnett tell me, we don’t need to read anymore because we have films and TV….. ~_~; — and you don’t want to be seen as abnormal.

Anyway, that’s a little insight into the Library of Jonathan M Burrage, MA. Hope you’ve found it vaguely enlightening. ^__^